The Mayans calendar will end on 21 December, 2012. There is no further date in it. OMG.  Are you worried because it may be the doomsday on Planet Earth? Or are you happy that you have already spent your credit card limit in shopping and you won’t be receiving the bill. Whatever the case may be, here are my funny predictions  regarding how the world would come to an end:

Nuclear Accident

A nuclear scientist will inadvertently put a large chunk of Uranium in his kitchen microwave for his lunch and will set the thermostat at 5 minutes. Within nano seconds, Boom Boom…. It will trigger the nuclear holocaust and will bring the world to an end.  Not a single soul will remain just to find out what that nuclear scientist was planning to eat and mistook Uranium for it.

 Genocide

Mark Zuckerberg will suddenly find out that his family roots link back to Mayans. To honor the Mayan doomsday he will shut down facebook abruptly without even informing the Security Exchange Commission.  People will come out on streets to protest. During protests facebookians will actually meet their connections for the first time in real life. And once when they will find out the true identity of whom with they were interacting, that will trigger the real genocide leading to the end of the world.

 Global Warming

The global bhatta mafia will unite globally and start money extortion from all retail outlets in the world. To protest against bhatta, the ice depots will go on strike. Their closure will further worsen global warming and will raise the temperature of planet earth by many Celsius degrees. Ultimately it will become unbearable and the world will end.

 Pollution

To protect the environment, many countries have implemented green movement initiatives in their office building, homes, shopping malls etc. The city planners had launched so many green projects without realizing that quite soon they will run out of the green color. That day, pollution will become so rampant that eventually the world will erode away.

 Hadron Collider

To protect and safeguard oneself from the doomsday, a young couple while constructing a bunker may dig into the tunnel of the Large Hadron Collider near the border of France and Switzerland. As a result the 38,000 tonnes, 27 km circular tunnel of the world’s largest particle accelerator located 100 metres beneath surface may explode resulting in disturbing earth’s orbit and increasing the risk of colliding with an asteroid. That couple will actually start the countdown of the destruction from which they were trying to save themselves.

The full article can be read in the upcoming issue of Identity Magazine